HOMO_GENE_IT IS

Homosexual gene discovered!!!
Scientist recently showcased their latest discovery, a gene that causes gay behavior.
One high ranking, White Coated Brainiac admitted sheepishly," It is a wee bit embarrassing. The answer was right under our noses all along." He was of coarse referring to the distinct and mesmerizing aroma of fried bologna, a common staple throughout America’s penal system
"Homosexual activity seems to get its roots in the prison system. We’ve narrowed it down to one common factor; fried bologna and oatmeal, ingested at high levels will transfer the dormant gene from the innocuous tube steak, to the male inmate. This inevitably leads to homosexuality.
"Enter prison a Ladies Man exit prison a Man’s Lady. End of story."
Gay activists rejoiced, most notably, members of NAMBLA, The Massachusetts Supreme Court, and the Archdiocese of Boston. Richard Simmons remained silent on the issue except for one short statement. “Fried Bologna does not get a high recommendation from the Deal-A- Meal program.”
Hormel meats founder, and flagrantly gay Clinton appointed ambassador to Luxembourg, James Hormel, is under what is bound to be a fruitful investigation to determine if there is any connection between his meat and it’s gay attributes.
One unnamed scientist said. “We would have discovered this sooner, but we have been tied up in recent decades with this global warming issue. Now that we have established global warming as an absolutely indisputable fact, just as solid as the Evolutionary Theory Fact, we can devote time to finding answers to more pressing issues, like this gay gene discovery.
Ironically the answer was sooo simple, and what many of us thought all along. “The gay gene is just a bunch of bologna.”
The global warming nut took a lot longer to crack than we had anticipated. For one thing we took off on a lot of rabbit trails, and yes, Bovine Flatulence is a contributing factor, but not the primary cause.
The delay was due to the fact that every time we were close to zeroing in on our target (Detroit auto makers) a volcano would erupt on some remote island somewhere and completely overwhelm our sensitive instruments, discombobulating our defragmentizers.
Now that our testing is finished with conclusive results, we can concentrate on more important things, and that’s a good thing, because according to our calculations we are all going to be dead from heat exposure by November of 2007.